They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth."
by Khalil Gibran
I have always loved this poem and I recently came across it again. It has been running through my mind over the past few days. Just floating around in there, reminding me how truly fleeting these precious moments of parenting really are.
While it at times feels like this life I live right now is just going to continue on forever- it will not. My children are not mine. They will grow up and someday find their own calling in life. They will most likely get married and have a family of their own. They will find their people. And while I am hopeful that we will also continue to be "their people" just as our parent's are for us, it will assuredly not be the same.
So this is my time with these two little beings. Not only during the stories and snuggles but also during the tantrums and arguments. This time is a gift, all of it. And the question then becomes not "what to do" but "how to be." How do I want to be? When it is all said and done what are the memories- and more importantly what are the feelings inside those memories - that I want to have to look back on.
I want to have blissful moments to remember. Moments where I am sitting with my child playing or reading a book and the only thing on my mind is my child . I want to have patient moments to remember. Moments where in the face of a screaming child I am able to stay calm, and retain my own maturity. Where I am able to respond in a loving way, even though I might be at the receiving end of some unkind words or actions. I want to have peaceful moments to remember. Moments where I am comforting my children, such as rocking them to sleep. I want to have moments of real clarity. Moments where I am so certain that nothing else in life is more important then this. Where the dishes might be piled high in the sink but I am outside on an adventure with my two little ones.
And while this is what I want, so often I get caught up functioning on autopilot and I am not able to be this. So I must also learn to forgive myself when that happens... and just try again. I have to continue to keep this image alive in my mind and keep striving. Though it may be an impossible image to live up to, I do know that the more I strive for it, the more frequently I am able to create those precious memories I so desire.
It all goes so fast. This is my time. As I am sending my last child off into the world I want to be able to look back with happiness. I want to be able to say I was present for the journey... and I enjoyed it all.
(And now off to rescue the cat, who is locked in the bathroom with my two darlings being forced to play the role of the baby... I think they may be trying to put a diaper on him. All with a skip in my step and a smile on my heart of course.)
No comments:
Post a Comment