Today We Discovered Mud

We also planted peas, beets, and kale in the garden.  Yippy!

Another Beautiful Day

Grace didn't have school today so we got to enjoy another beautiful day at home.  Hanging out the sheets, digging in the garden, and going to the park.  Yes.

Grandma and Grandpa's Wedding

Blizzard on Monday... Sunburned on Friday

Today I stepped barefoot in the grass.
Today, for the first hour of my morning, I was unable to convince myself that there was anything more important to do then sitting, watching my children play, and basking in the warmth of the sun.
Today Nora learned that there is more to life then snow.
Today I saw miracles everywhere.
Today Jackson insisted that we spend the entire day outside.  I agreed.
Today I dug in the garden.
Today, after Grace got home from school, her and Jackson's dipping their feet in the "spring pond" turned into taking off all of their clothes and "swimming".
Today was my favorite.

The Last April Blizzard

Feeling Grateful For...

~ our family's health returning
~ some sleep
~ a breakfast date with my girlfriends
~ the sun who reappeared yesterday
~ my favorite books and authors who continue to inspire me everyday
~ the hope of spring
~ my mess making, art loving kids
~ my class today and the opportunity to go to school
~ Katie and Kris coming over and taking the kids bowling and then making us dinner
~ time to relax

"Spring" Painting

Spring Break 2014 Here We Come

Yesterday when the (3rd) April blizzard started up, I pulled up a map of the United States.  That's it, who would ever chose to live in such a ridiculous state.  NOT ME!  It is nearing the end of April and we are dealing with blizzards.  Blizzards!  Time to start interviewing far away cities to figure out where we should move.  Ryan joined in too.  We carefully weighed our options and talked about moving as though it was something we had been contemplating for years.  It was very therapeutic.

But then I started to take the search too seriously and Ryan suggested that instead of moving we might consider a vacation.  Yes, a vacation.  Every year at this time.  Starting next year.  So now I am looking for the perfect candidate for a family vacation.  Hawaii?  California?  Hmmm....

So the knock-down virus that hit Ryan and Nora has now taken out everyone but Grace.  We'll see if she can out run it.  In the mean time after two days of surrendering to it I am now ready for action.  Soup, smoothies and salads is all that will be served around here until we are finally all healthy and spring decides to show herself.

Today (Part II)

As many good days as there are to catch up on (tomorrow for sure), the last few weeks or so have also been met with so many challenges.  The sleepless nights are back.  At least a few times a week Nora wakes up in the night and is just awake for two or three hours.  That in itself is just about enough to put a parent over the edge, but the sickness is also starting to get tiresome.  Just when it seems that someone is getting better from being sick, another one of us begins to show symptoms of something new.  So perhaps the history of the situation is also contributing to my difficulty in dealing with our current illnesses and sleeplessness.  All I know is, last night as I lay in bed, I wasn't real happy with my day.  Not in a guilt/beat myself up sort of way, but it was just that as I played over the days events, I realized on this particular day, I just wasn't the person I wanted to be.  I don't want to be someone who is crabby in the morning before my feet even hit the floor just because I didn't get enough sleep.  Yes a lack of sleep will wear on me and so I can give myself a break, but I don't need to be mad before I've even spoken a word.  And on challenging days such as this one I want the ability to be able to summon some extra patience as opposed to being so short on it.  It is on these days especially that my children need that.  And I want to be someone who can loving care for her sick children and her sick husband.  At times I found myself feeling resentful toward Ryan instead of empathetic- and that's just not the wife or mother I want to be.  Yes I had mustered up some good in me during the day and had made the best of many moments, but I could do this better then this, I knew I could.



But then the morning came and it didn't go all that great.  After getting Grace off to school, I found myself trying to clean up the kitchen (while holding a sick baby in my other hand) as I desperately tried to piece together what exactly went wrong.  How can I be better at this?  Suddenly something in me shifted and I was overcome with a feeling of acceptance for my situation.  This is parenthood.  I signed up for this.  I tend to only remember that I "signed up" for the good stuff, but the truth is there are no surprises here.  Sickness and lack of sleep are pretty regular aspects of parenthood.



So with resentment and resistance out of the way I was suddenly opened up to all the good feelings again.
There is peace to be found in days such as this.
Even contentment.
What was even more surprising was that with acceptance on my side, everything felt so much easier.  So much easier.  I didn't have to try so hard (like I did yesterday) to muster up an ounce of kindness.  Kindness just naturally came.



And tonight, as I look back on this day, I am proud to say that on this particular day, I was the mom/wife I want to be.  I was patient, kind, and loving, despite the circumstances.  Jackson and I spent the day having fun and learning about unicorns.  Nora and I took a cozy nap together (documented by Ryan).  I made my family a healthy dinner of baked salmon and salad.

We'll see if I'll be able to keep it up tomorrow.  It's going to be a long night as Nora started throwing up before bed and has a high fever.  Certainly there will be more "opportunities" for me to practice.

Today

I have so many good things to post about... Easter, Grace's spring break, sunny weather, our mini "vacation".  But all of that will have to wait- because today I am consumed with, well, today.  Ryan and Nora are both sick.  Again.  And if sickness and solo parenting weren't enough for the day, last night Nora was up for two and a half hours in the night.  I am tired. So tired.  I actually sat down here with all sorts of things that I wanted to say about today but I suddenly have no idea what any of them were.  It was a hard day.  I did my best.  And now I should go to bed.  I can't imagine what I else I needed to say beyond that.  Hoping for a better day tomorrow...