Sister Love

I got to spend some time alone with Jackson today while Grace and Ryan went out ice fishing. It's always nice to be able to give him my undivided attention for a little bit and marvel at all of his latest tricks. Those second babies don't get much of that. But it also made me realize how much he loves Grace. I've never seen anything like it really. I think he actaully started to miss her in that short time (or maybe just got board with me). By the end of the afternoon he was getting a little fussy but the minute she got home he was all smiles. He just stares at her with this grin of anticipation on his face as if he can't wait for the next funny thing she's going to do. And no one can make him laugh like her. It's beautiful really. And knowing the sibling rivalry that is surely ahead, I am enjoying every moment of it.

My little photographer

Grace took this picture today (while she was wearing the blue hat I might add) and I have to admit I'm pretty impressed... and inspired!

Squash and the blue hat

So... Jackson started solids yesterday. Seemed to be going well. He liked it somewhat, so I tried again today. Then as I was lying down tonight with Grace thinking about the day my brain suddenly started working again (apparently it had been on a break, or vacation or something) and I remembered. Squash is not a food you start a baby with. That's right squash. But it gets worse. Since he had liked the squash, tonight I then decided I'd give bananas a try. Which he also liked and ate. So in a mere 24 hours, I've introduced my baby to two foods, both of which are not suppose to be first foods. Not to mention you're suppose to ease them in slowly, trying just one thing a few days at a time. So, there you have it. Clearly I'm unfit for motherhood. I guess worse things could happen (yes, much worse). Hopefully his tummy will forgive me.

And the hat. It was given to Grace as a gift last year (homemade I think) and she's suddenly become real fond of it. It's the hat she uses when she "leaves the house" which also means she wears it in this very serious manor and says things like "I'm going to run to the store and pick up some things". Or stands with one hand on her hip having a very real sounding phone coversation that ends in "okay I think I'm going to have to let you go here". All the while I have to have to hold my laughter in... at least till I can blog about it later.

Littleness

Just a little moment I want to remember. Little cups and bowls and spoons and forks used by little hands.

There is such a pull within me of wanting them to grow... and wanting them to stay. Just stay this way forever. The thought that one day all this littleness will be over is so, well let's just say I don't even want to think about it. I remember after Grace was born and she wasn't sleeping and I caught myself thinking "well I guess this is how the rest of my life is going to go, waking up every hour or two to rock her back to sleep". It was inconceivable to me at the time that she would ever change. And then before I could even blink all of that was gone. This time around I am wiser (ha!), okay fine, more conscious. Last night when Jackson woke up and wanted to just be awake at 2 in the morning (I wined a bit) but also realized this too shall pass. And after a deep breath, I reminded myself, I really am in no hurry for the passing, but instead would prefer the being. And the littleness, that I know will so quickly be gone.

Full Circle

Some interesting moments from my week...


Lately, every time I go home to my parent's, there is yet another toy on display that they have dug out from some packed away box for Grace to play with... and me to reminisce about. So many happy memories embedded in each of those toys. I feel so lucky to have had such a wonderful childhood... with a sister for a built in best friend and playmate (and still, to this day). Oh how I want that same bond for my own children.


My other best friend (and truthfully more like a sister) who I have known since I was two, just had a little boy two months after I did. Seeing them together and imagining the friendship that will surely develop between them is so crazy. The fact that both of our parents still live across the street from each other, and the potential for them to be running back and forth from house to house like we did is an actual reality (at least when they're visiting the grandparent's) makes the imagining all the more fun.


My cousin came to stay with us this week. Whenever I see her with Grace I am reminded of her and I when she was younger. I nannied her for two summers when she was little and I sometimes see that same connection with her and Grace. She lives (as I did back then) in the world in between kid and adult, which is so magnetic to young children.

How strange that I am having all of these "full circle" moments in one week. Really makes me take a step back and notice my life. It is amazing the way life sometimes neatly offers up these small little gifts.

Treasures

This is just one of the many fun treasures we've inherited from our new home. This "kababin" (as Grace likes to call it) was left in the basement of the barn and is already a family favorite. These little unexpected surprises make these little unexpected surprises so much more tolerable...


That's right, we have a contest going on right now between the asian beetles and the box elder bugs (so far the asian beetles are ahead). There seems to be no end in sight. When we first moved in we went crazy vacuuming them up trying to get them all, but still, on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis they appear. I guess we have to take the good with the bad right?

Books... how I love thee

I know in life we are suppose to strive to not be so attached to things, and I do really try to do this. Clothes, cars, household things, all of these I could live without... or... well okay, I'm not that enlightened. Maybe what I mean to say is I'm not so concerned with them. I appreciate them, and am of course thankful for whatever they add to my life, but I don't find myself consumed with them. Books on the other hand, are another story. I love them. Truely, I do. I love the smell of them, the feel of them, the anticipation that comes with opening a never before read book. I love old ones, new ones, and ones from almost every genre. They have inspired me, supported me, informed me, and made me laugh. Many times, as a result of a book, my life has changed.

My love affair with them begin as early as I can remember. First being read to by my parents, then learning to read (ahhhhh what freedom), then came school and library cards and "bookorders". There was a short time where books may have taken a back seat... but not for too long. College brought me back, first with the purchasing of textbooks, and then with my "discovery" of Barnes and Noble (which I could sit at for hours at a time). There came a time when I was so passionate about them that selling them became a dream of mine. A few years after college I opened my very own bookstore. I ran it successfully for two and a half years until the combination of the economy and having a baby made it become increasingly difficult to the point where I had to let it go.

Since then I've returned to just being a collector of books (which continues to grow at an astounding rate). This last weekend I finally finished unpacking all of them. Instead of putting them all in one room as I did at our old house, they are spread out throughout the house (I think there's a bookcase in every room). Anyway, it feels so good to have them all in their place. I missed them (yes, I'm crazy).

Hello 2009

My New Years Resolutions...
1. To express my frustrations/anger in a more respectful way
2. To relax about the little things and practice letting go

Fairwell 2008

A New Year...

Well I have so much to be thankful for... where do I start. I suppose with the fact that at this moment, I am sitting in my new comfy pants, in my new slippers, in my new house. Then of course there is Jackson, my happy, healthy baby boy... and his birth that was so amazing. It was definately a year of new beginnings.

As for 2009, there is so much I am looking forward to. A new president, going back to school, continuing to work on making my new house a home. And of course all the little day to day moments that really make my life mine... mothering, writing, creating.

Cheers to a new year.

Christmas Highlights

1.Jackson laughing hysterically at Grace (and only Grace, apparently we're not that funny)
2.Eating way too many cookies
3.Being a part of three Christmas dinners
4.My beautiful new storing jars
5.Grace telling me she "loves and appreciates me"
6.Grace trying to figure out which Santa is coming "the blue one or the red one"
7.Seeing even Jackson enjoy playing with his new gifts
8.Going out to dinner with friends and laughing loudly
9.The snow
10. Sitting in front of a hot fire

Three

There she is. All three years of her.

We had a party and I think she thoroughly enjoyed it. Just family as usual. That's her eating her first cupcake and loving it. She got some very special gifts. I feel so lucky to have a family who takes the time to think of (or make) thoughtful things just right for her.

I know it's such a cliche but I just so can't believe she's three. She was Jackson's age just 10 minutes ago I swear. Just yet another reminded to charish these moments... before I know it they'll be gone.

Gifts

Well not to many handmade things this year but I did have time for a few. Grace and I made the soy candles together, they are her gifts to grandmas and aunts. The felt balls were harder then I thought, though once I got the pattern right they turned out pretty good (the first one is more of a pumpkin shaped ball). I kind of love them. The pattern was a free one that I must remember where I found?

I pretty much spent the entire day cleaning and preparing. Grace's birthday is tomorrow. I can't believe she's going to be three, that just seems so old. And then the Christmas festivities begin. My list today (which I can happily say I crossed everything off) was actually quite enjoyable:
Finish making candles
Bake cupcakes
5 loads of laundry
Finish baby ball
Vacuum everywhere
Clean and pick up
And now I am sitting in a very clean house with stacks of folded laundry and finished gifts waiting to be wrapped. A nice way to go to bed I must say.

Bird's Eye View

Well first of all, I'm giving myself a pat on the back for my attitude today. Much better. And it was a fun (and very snowy) day. All four of us went out to lunch and went Christmas shopping which went surprisingly well considering we have two kids under 3. Then this afternoon I got to do some sewing (more on this later) and Ryan took us up in the boom truck which is where these pictures are from. He has it here so we can use it next spring to paint the barn. I am excited to get back up there and take more pictures, it was an amazing view. Especially today with the snow.

Christmas Preperations Take 2

Geeez. I'm having one of those days. One of those days where the mom who normally is present to mother our children has apparently stepped out (maybe for a vacation, I'm not sure). Anyway, some new short-fusey, irritable, impatient mom has taken over. I'm really not a fan of this lady at all! Plus it's Christmas, my faaaavorite time of year, which is why I should be in a splendid mood. But I'm not. And what's really dumb is that I think I'm letting my "Christmas to do list" drag me down. How ridiculous is that? I should just throw it away then because if I can't be happy while I'm buying or making gifts then what's the point anyway? Okay from here on out I'm going to make an attitude adjustment. I'm now aware of the problem and I'm ready for some happy holiday spirits. Let's try this again...