Today

Of course I would have a bad day today.  Of course, after all my wanting everything to stay this way forever talk yesterday, I would have a day where I wanted to crawl back into bed and not emerge until tomorrow.  Of course I would.

They were crabby, I was crabby.  There was resistance to everything from putting on coats, to lessons, to eating what's for dinner.  Even I was resistant- to teaching lessons, to making that soup that needed to be made from the last of the garden, to meditating (which ironically would have probably fixed everything).

Anyway, we did it.  Somehow we got through the day.  Then, ironically, as I was tucking Grace and Jackson into bed Grace said "thanks for a fun day mom".
"Wait, what.." I asked, "did someone have fun at some point today?  I don't remember having any fun."  Then they both proceeded to tell me about a few happy moments here and there.
And then Jackson said, "Oh and remember, we had fun raking."
I thought for a moment, "Oh yes, we did have fun raking."  I had forgotten about that.
"Until I wrecked it by complaining and asking for the thousandth time when we could go in" Grace reminded us.
And then we all laughed.  We all agreed to do better tomorrow and I kissed them both goodnight.

Then I sat for an hour and a half by the fire, with my books and notebook and pen.  And somehow that fixed what was left that needed fixing.

Tomorrow is Halloween.  I'm feeling hopeful it will be a better day.