Ready

{Homemade baby oil}


{Birth armor}


{Blessingway}


{Henna from my Blessingway}

Several weeks ago I found myself at the end of a prenatal yoga class sobbing into my mat, suddenly overcome by my fear of birth.  The next night, Ryan and I had a tour at our birth center and I came home feeling more anxious then ever secretly hoping maybe I would somehow need to have a c-section.  That night baby flipped into the breach position.  That was my wake up call to start facing my fear.

I started journaling about my fears trying to get to the bottom of them.  In the simplest terms what I found was, birth now equaled "bad".  What was I afraid of?  Everything.  Because after our miscarriage last year, I knew that anything could happen.  I started to make art around my fears, meditate regularly, write letters to baby, make jewelry (which I now refer to as my "birth armor"), and my dear friends held a Blessingway for me.  Once I started doing this work, I loved it so much I kept doing more.  And as I mentioned a few posts ago, I am now loving this pregnancy.  So. Much. And I am finally feeling totally ready for birth.