Where I've been

There are so many excuses I could give as to why it's been so long since I've visited this little space of mine...

1. Had to write an 8 page paper
2. Went out of town
3. Had to go take the written drivers license test (mine was expired)
4. Got an oil change
5. Went on a date (dinner, wine and a movie...what could be better)!
6. Worked on Grace's quilt

I could go on. But perhaps the biggest reason I haven't been here doesn't have so much to do with what I've been doing, as much as how I've been feeling. A certain three year old has really been keeping me on my toes lately, and I must admit, I really just want to sit down. I think I mentioned in my last post that she's been having a hard time again with behavior relating to Jackson, and unfortunately, it hasn't stopped. I'm not the type of person who needs everything to be perfect, nor am I the type to beat myself up over parenting mistakes (and believe you me, there have been many over the last few weeks), but I am a fixer. I am the type that has a "if it's not working for you, change it" type attitude. So I think that the fact that I don't know how to help her through this is really hard and discouraging for me.

But... after some encouraging words from a dear friend tonight, I'm feeling a little better (she said some of the nicest things about the kind of mother I am, and although as of late I don't necessarily feel worthy of this praise, it nonetheless made my heart swell- just the encouragement I needed to keep my chin up). And after a deep breath, I realized, this is just going to take some time, but that doesn't mean nothing is happening. Grace and I are both learning here, and learning doesn't happen overnight. So I'll continue to read my books (especially the three above, they have been especially insightful), and try my hardest to actually put these things into practice. And I'll continue to try and stay positive. And patient... with myself and Grace.

And when that doesn't work I'll remember that tomorrow is another day.