Random Thoughts

This was such a great idea I found here. Grace is still fighting off a cold, not to mention it is so cold outside so... we brought the outside in!


Grace is officially hooked on drinking tea. I think it helps that the box has a cute bear on it and that we drink it out of fancy cups. My goal this summer is to grow my own herbs and learn how to make my own teas....we'll see.


This picture pretty much speaks for itself!

"Sewing Project"

This our "project" we've been working on over the last few weeks. It was so much fun to do with Grace. She didn't have a very long attention span for the embrodery part, just a few stiches at a time. But she loved finishing it on the sewing machine and was so proud of the finished product. The pillow I made matches the birds I painted in their bedroom... which I still need to finish one of these days!

Ahhh, Sleep At Last

Well we all finally slept last night. Like bears really. I felt like a new person waking up today!

I've been doing some exploring around this new home of mine and have found some great discoveries. I found a great cooking store/school called the The Chefs Gallery where I really want to take some cooking classes. And on Monday we all went to this great art gallery called The Phipps Center for the Arts to see some local art exhibits that were wonderful. They also offer some art classes I want to take. As Ryan always reminds me "really, more school". Honestly, I think I could be in school forever. I love it... almost as much as my books.

Sleep Paaaalease

I was all ready to sit down here today and declare that I am done having children. Really I was. Last night was the forth horrible night in a row with Jackson being sick, and now Grace as well. He woke up too many times to count, and twice we just ended up getting up. By morning time I was so exhausted I started getting angry. Not at him, just to myself. I clearly remember thinking this is it, I'm done. No more children. Apparently I'm not cut out for this. I told myself that I needed to write it down in my blog RIGHT AWAY- before the mothering amnesia set in and I forgot about how hard and frustrating this was.

Then morning came... and I was too tired to write. And I took naps while they napped, so there wasn't time to write then. And now it's the end of the day... and it's too late. In a mere 12 hours my tune has already changed. The small tender moments of the day have captivated my maternal brain once again. And I've somehow fooled myself into thinking it wasn't that bad.... A night without sleep here or there, big deal. So what if my daily exercise happens at night, while trying to put my son to sleep. It's called multitasking. Every parent gets puked on every now and then (by both kids in one night), that's what parenting is all about. No more kids, HA! I can handle it.

Okay off to bed... to go through the whole thing again I'm sure. I'm such a sucker.

Snow Day

A New Day

Sitting with Grace and Jackson yesterday watching the inauguration (with tears streaming down my face) was so indescribable. I felt so inspired... and full of hope and... proud. Proud of my country and everyone in it. And that is something I have never felt before (well maybe besides a few fleeting moments here or there). It struck me that Grace and Jackson were so unaware of what was going on, and yet they will be so affected by it. For some (like my husband) believing in someone before they've had a chance to really prove themselves seems kind of foolish. But in my heart I really feel that he is going to change our world for the better. So I truly believe, that yesterday at 12:00, as Grace was playing with her babies and Jackson was napping, we entered a new era. I new era of light, and peace, and hope. And as a mom with two young children... that felt pretty darn good.

Sister Love

I got to spend some time alone with Jackson today while Grace and Ryan went out ice fishing. It's always nice to be able to give him my undivided attention for a little bit and marvel at all of his latest tricks. Those second babies don't get much of that. But it also made me realize how much he loves Grace. I've never seen anything like it really. I think he actaully started to miss her in that short time (or maybe just got board with me). By the end of the afternoon he was getting a little fussy but the minute she got home he was all smiles. He just stares at her with this grin of anticipation on his face as if he can't wait for the next funny thing she's going to do. And no one can make him laugh like her. It's beautiful really. And knowing the sibling rivalry that is surely ahead, I am enjoying every moment of it.

My little photographer

Grace took this picture today (while she was wearing the blue hat I might add) and I have to admit I'm pretty impressed... and inspired!

Squash and the blue hat

So... Jackson started solids yesterday. Seemed to be going well. He liked it somewhat, so I tried again today. Then as I was lying down tonight with Grace thinking about the day my brain suddenly started working again (apparently it had been on a break, or vacation or something) and I remembered. Squash is not a food you start a baby with. That's right squash. But it gets worse. Since he had liked the squash, tonight I then decided I'd give bananas a try. Which he also liked and ate. So in a mere 24 hours, I've introduced my baby to two foods, both of which are not suppose to be first foods. Not to mention you're suppose to ease them in slowly, trying just one thing a few days at a time. So, there you have it. Clearly I'm unfit for motherhood. I guess worse things could happen (yes, much worse). Hopefully his tummy will forgive me.

And the hat. It was given to Grace as a gift last year (homemade I think) and she's suddenly become real fond of it. It's the hat she uses when she "leaves the house" which also means she wears it in this very serious manor and says things like "I'm going to run to the store and pick up some things". Or stands with one hand on her hip having a very real sounding phone coversation that ends in "okay I think I'm going to have to let you go here". All the while I have to have to hold my laughter in... at least till I can blog about it later.

Littleness

Just a little moment I want to remember. Little cups and bowls and spoons and forks used by little hands.

There is such a pull within me of wanting them to grow... and wanting them to stay. Just stay this way forever. The thought that one day all this littleness will be over is so, well let's just say I don't even want to think about it. I remember after Grace was born and she wasn't sleeping and I caught myself thinking "well I guess this is how the rest of my life is going to go, waking up every hour or two to rock her back to sleep". It was inconceivable to me at the time that she would ever change. And then before I could even blink all of that was gone. This time around I am wiser (ha!), okay fine, more conscious. Last night when Jackson woke up and wanted to just be awake at 2 in the morning (I wined a bit) but also realized this too shall pass. And after a deep breath, I reminded myself, I really am in no hurry for the passing, but instead would prefer the being. And the littleness, that I know will so quickly be gone.

Full Circle

Some interesting moments from my week...


Lately, every time I go home to my parent's, there is yet another toy on display that they have dug out from some packed away box for Grace to play with... and me to reminisce about. So many happy memories embedded in each of those toys. I feel so lucky to have had such a wonderful childhood... with a sister for a built in best friend and playmate (and still, to this day). Oh how I want that same bond for my own children.


My other best friend (and truthfully more like a sister) who I have known since I was two, just had a little boy two months after I did. Seeing them together and imagining the friendship that will surely develop between them is so crazy. The fact that both of our parents still live across the street from each other, and the potential for them to be running back and forth from house to house like we did is an actual reality (at least when they're visiting the grandparent's) makes the imagining all the more fun.


My cousin came to stay with us this week. Whenever I see her with Grace I am reminded of her and I when she was younger. I nannied her for two summers when she was little and I sometimes see that same connection with her and Grace. She lives (as I did back then) in the world in between kid and adult, which is so magnetic to young children.

How strange that I am having all of these "full circle" moments in one week. Really makes me take a step back and notice my life. It is amazing the way life sometimes neatly offers up these small little gifts.

Treasures

This is just one of the many fun treasures we've inherited from our new home. This "kababin" (as Grace likes to call it) was left in the basement of the barn and is already a family favorite. These little unexpected surprises make these little unexpected surprises so much more tolerable...


That's right, we have a contest going on right now between the asian beetles and the box elder bugs (so far the asian beetles are ahead). There seems to be no end in sight. When we first moved in we went crazy vacuuming them up trying to get them all, but still, on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis they appear. I guess we have to take the good with the bad right?

Books... how I love thee

I know in life we are suppose to strive to not be so attached to things, and I do really try to do this. Clothes, cars, household things, all of these I could live without... or... well okay, I'm not that enlightened. Maybe what I mean to say is I'm not so concerned with them. I appreciate them, and am of course thankful for whatever they add to my life, but I don't find myself consumed with them. Books on the other hand, are another story. I love them. Truely, I do. I love the smell of them, the feel of them, the anticipation that comes with opening a never before read book. I love old ones, new ones, and ones from almost every genre. They have inspired me, supported me, informed me, and made me laugh. Many times, as a result of a book, my life has changed.

My love affair with them begin as early as I can remember. First being read to by my parents, then learning to read (ahhhhh what freedom), then came school and library cards and "bookorders". There was a short time where books may have taken a back seat... but not for too long. College brought me back, first with the purchasing of textbooks, and then with my "discovery" of Barnes and Noble (which I could sit at for hours at a time). There came a time when I was so passionate about them that selling them became a dream of mine. A few years after college I opened my very own bookstore. I ran it successfully for two and a half years until the combination of the economy and having a baby made it become increasingly difficult to the point where I had to let it go.

Since then I've returned to just being a collector of books (which continues to grow at an astounding rate). This last weekend I finally finished unpacking all of them. Instead of putting them all in one room as I did at our old house, they are spread out throughout the house (I think there's a bookcase in every room). Anyway, it feels so good to have them all in their place. I missed them (yes, I'm crazy).

Hello 2009

My New Years Resolutions...
1. To express my frustrations/anger in a more respectful way
2. To relax about the little things and practice letting go